Hey Reader,

The BS-Free Service Business show is on hiatus until mid-February, so over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a series of exclusive essays with you via email.​
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I don’t even know how to start this essay, so I’m going to dive right in.

I’ve been in the online business world for ten years now, and in that time, I’ve seen some absolute BS along the way.

And my clients and friends have told me too many outrageous stories to count.

I know a lot of secrets, along with things people simply do NOT want shared.

So if I woke up one day and decided to name names, I could do some severe collateral damage.

I mean, it’s no secret that I’m a vocal advocate for better business practices and consumer education in the online world, so shouldn’t I be willing to name names?

I’ve spent so much time grappling with this exact question. And I’ve made a conscious decision not to name names.

Back in 2020, there was a very brief period where I did. Honestly, I didn’t have the stomach for it, so I quickly decided not to do that anymore.

Since then, I’ve taken some flack due to that decision. I’ve been accused of wanting to protect people or blaming the victims. (Seriously, some things said have been wild to me, like WTF?!?!)

Which is why I wanted to share WHY I don’t name names. This isn’t a justification but more of a blueprint to decide what’s suitable for you.

I want to talk about this now, as in 2023, there will be a groundswell of people wanting names. Of people wanting to know precisely who these people are. Of stories being shared about the harm that has been done.
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Things are about to get real loud, and very, very messy.

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#1: Is this Safe for Me? For My Clients?

First and foremost, this is a safety issue. My clients need to know they can trust me with the stories about their clients and that I’m not going to turn around and use these stories as content.

For many of them, I’m one of the only people they can talk to about what’s going on with their clients, and their psychological safety is paramount.

The other aspect of this is that there are potential consequences for naming names. I’m a micro business, and I don’t have the resources to take on these much bigger businesses.

I already experience trolling periodically with people trying to gotcha me. And that’s without naming any names, so I know exactly how messy shit gets when people name names.

I’ve witnessed it repeatedly in the last two years. The person being named immediately goes into damage control or DARVO mode, and you become the problem. Then, they send their flying monkeys after you.

Truth? I don’t have the emotional capacity to manage this, and as someone with anxiety and C-PTSD, this is a freakin’ nightmare. It’s not safe in any way for me to go there.

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#2. Is It My Story to Tell?

It would be effortless for me to grow my platform by focusing on naming names. I would grow my following and get more attention for the work I’m doing.

But safety issues aside, here’s what I come back to repeatedly. Is this my story to tell?

I’m a white, privileged individual, so should I be the one acting as the storyteller on this? And who the hell am I to tell these stories?

Honestly, at this point, I’m not even sure I could unpick what stories are mine, my client’s stories, and which ones have been shared with me by my broader community.

The risk of me causing harm by sharing those stories is very real.

Instead, those stories should be told by people with lived experiences if they choose. Only if and when they’re ready and can deal with the potential fallout.

This is why I’ve decided to talk about patterns versus people. Plus, that helps people focus more on the behaviors and red flags over who’s good and bad, which brings me to my final point.

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#3. The Removal of Critical Thinking

Without the benefit of first-hand or lived experience working with someone, I can only take my analysis so far.

Plus, deciding who in this industry is good or bad relies on an individualized set of ethics and values. (Check out Michelle Mazur’s post on ethical marketing for more on this.)

I have a running list of people I believe are unethical and using harmful business practices, but based on your values, you may find them acceptable.

While I find these people reprehensible, I’m not going to sit on my couch and dictate to anyone who they should (or should not) work with.

Because you know what that does? It removes your agency from the decision. It strips away self-trust as you’re looking to me to be your decision-maker.

Most of all, it removes critical thinking, where you stop and assess someone’s business practices to make the right call for you.

This is the same bullshit that got us into this mess in the first place. Pervasive scammy, culty business practices that rely on shutting down your critical thinking.

So I’m not going to be the one to step up and tell you this person is BAD, because that’s just more of the same.

Plus, as someone who tracks many of these people, there are constantly new people popping up. As Michelle and I have discussed on the Duped podcast, there’s no way we can track all of them. It’s a full-time job and then some, so naming names quickly turns into a game of scammy business coach whack-a-mole.

My goal is for you to become a better, more informed consumer. To decide for yourself who to trust and who to work with.

That’s a critical skill in an industry that’s about to get much, much louder and messier when it comes to all the BS that goes on.

I fully understand that people want this industry to change, but it’s taken years to get to this point, so taking intentional, thoughtful action that doesn’t do more harm is always going to be my top priority.

And for me, that’s not naming names.

Maybe I’ll change my mind, but for 2023, that’s where I’m at. Maybe it’s different for you, but I don’t think it’s something anyone should be doing on a whim or because it seems like the thing to do.

What do you think? Are we going to see more people naming names?

M
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